What am i doing? I feel like I'm doing everything wrong - I can't make anyone happy.

I keep messing things up, wrecking friendships. I feel like I've had to cross so many names off my friend list this year - it's ridiculous: Richard, Gav, Roon, Dave, Sarah, Jen, Kev - but then again, how good friends were they?
I've started to question everything I do - the way I act, the way I am with people. I obviously need to get a hold of this flirting thing, but then how should I behave? I just don't know anymore.

I'm really, really nervous. I've lost track of my damn period again and I've been sleeping with Dan. I feel shaky and my heart is racing. I can't remember what date my period is due.

I don't know how to take my mind off it. I keep trying to visualise my period starting, so that I can find some kind of temporary peace, but the idea of having to go through it all again (for even less of a reason than before) keeps circling my head. I feel so sick. What the f*ck am I going to do? Such a mess; so many secrets and f*ck-ups. So scared. Such a f*cking idiot......oh dear god, what if I'm pregnant again? - I couldn't bear it.