I finally feel like 'me' again this afternoon. Spending a small fortune on my hair has made me feel really good. The best thing was having a man wash my hair. The girls tend to be far too gentle. Antonio was firm. Felt so relaxed and happy - it's the most physical contact I've had in months & I think that alone would have improved my mood.

Alex, the hairdresser, flirted with me & gave me his number. It was good to feel attractive again, after so long feeling androgenous.

I'm happy to discover I don't feel like Sally. I made the right choice. I don't regret it. It has actually made me realise some important things....Mainly, that I Definately want to become a mother - obviously in the right circumstances next time. So i guess that means I do want the whole package. I just need to lighten up and not think that everyone is going to find me boring - what's boring is worrying about pointless things like that.

I definately still need to spend a lot longer on my own - I need time to get rid of various demons; overcome trust issues and start to feel happy on my own.

I feel free, I'm so lucky. Once I get rid of the bad thoughts, I've got so much emotional intelligence to use to my advantage. I have a lot of love to give. I need to go back to how I was when I met Colin. Not jaded by all of the (was going to say 'failed') recent relationships. Learn from them, yes, but don't go into everything expecting to be let down - I just need to be more certain before I jump into physical stuff. No more 1 night stands; lying; cheating. The less contact/relationships/sex I have, the better they will be next time.