I returned from Zermatt, Switzerland on Wednesday and moved house yesterday. I am now back with the folks, holed up in the spare bedroom - my haven of relative minimalism, compared to the rest of the house. Mine and Chris's stuff fill the rooms from floor to ceiling. He leaves for Greece on Monday. I'm going to miss him like crazy.

Sally called me yesterday. I felt a little indignant. I don't want to think about that stuff anymore - want to forget and get on with the rest of my life. It's not going to take over - the sooner I forget the better.

I have decided that Gavin and I are no longer friends. I have nothing left to say to him. We've been on & off for 4 years now and I've finally realised that I wouldn't let even my worst enemies treat me like he does, let alone somebody who calls themself my friend. I have so far managed to resist contacting him. I want nothing more to do with him. It's a liberating, but also scary feeling. This is the first time I have been completely alone, with no safety net, for 4 years. I'll be fine.