I walked into work again this morning. It's a 6 mile round trip. I ache all over from walking in yesterday combined with the fact that my body is still attempting to cope with the horrible 'medication' I took over the weekend.

I have begun a process of reinvention. I spent a small fortune yesterday on 2 (yes, 2) pairs of new shoes....(oh but they are lovely) I've booked a hair appointment; I'm planning a clothes-shopping trip and I'm trying to increase my daily level of exercise. My brain seems to be holding my credit cards to ransom:

"The girl gets it, unless you buy lots of things and spend lots of money on your appearance"

It's all just distractions - spending money is a distraction from boredom/pain/guilt, but it's not a solution to my problems.

I want to rebrand myself. In an attempt to distance myself from all of my mistakes I desperately want to be different - looking different is the quick-fix. Maybe if I look better I'll have more confidence and my self-esteem may return to its normal level? I know it doesn't work like that, but it's worth trying surely?